What Experts Say You Can Teach Your Kids in Your Divorce

November 3, 2015

Graine Mediation is pleased to introduce Kristine Meldrum Denholm as our guest blogger this week.  Kristine is an award-winning journalist who often publishes stories related to families, health and emotional well-being.

communicationIf you model good communication with your spouse during a divorce, it can be a helpful lesson to your kids in learning how to handle conflict, say experts in both law and mental health.  

In The Good Karma Divorce: Avoid Litigation, Turn Negative Emotions Into Positive Actions and Get On with the Rest of Your Life (HarperOne, 2011) author Michele Lowrance, a former divorce court judge in Cook County, Illinois, recommends mediation to curtail destructive communication among divorcing spouses.

“The sight of couples who participate exuberantly in a demolition derby always disturbs me,” she wrote. “They lash out and irreparable damages are done.”

Those damages, of course, could be to your children.

Judge Lowrence told ABC’s Robin Roberts in an interview: “We watch who is enjoying the conflict, and who is compromising for the sake of the children.”

She recounted a story of a 10-year-old boy in court who said, “If only I was dead, my parents would stop fighting.’ He thought since they were always fighting over him, he caused the divorce. She recommends you tell the child—age-appropriately–why the divorce was not their fault. She also explains that when you degrade your partner, you are interrupting your child’s ability to feel safe in the world.

When you can put aside your own anger and focus instead on positive interactions with your spouse, your kids are sure to benefit.

“If you think of your spouse as a ‘difficult co-worker,’ you can still speak to each other professionally, because work needs to be done,” advises Christine Barckhoff, LCSW, a psychotherapist in Knoxville (TN) who has given divorce parenting workshops and classes. “When parents keep their communications positive, they aren’t just modeling healthy communication skills, they’re communicating respect for their children by not making the divorce more stressful on them.”

Barckhoff says if former spouses can communicate well, their children learn that while sometimes relationships end, you can continue to be a loving, respectful person.  You are also modeling handling conflict with poise, dignity and resolution.

“I made a point to not degrade their dad in front of them,” said one mom in Virginia, whose kids were 9 and 14 when they divorced. “Both my parents and myself never spoke badly about my ex in front of them. The first time they went back to visit their dad, they found out literally right before they walked in the door that he had gotten together with a friend of ours. They were angry and disappointed and wanted to come home. I took the high road and told them they didn’t have to like her, but they did have to respect her as his choice of partner.”

Her approach to a potential emotional landmine paid off. Her daughters, now happy, well-adjusted adults, enjoy a loving, close relationship with both parents. “I hope it taught them to take the high road. I hope they learned that nice counts. I guess I kind of hoped it would elevate me in their eyes, that Mom didn’t ‘diss’ anyone.”

She adds: “I always tried to teach them that you can find good in most everyone, but sometimes you have to search for it.”

Based in Northern Virginia, award-winning freelance journalist Kristine Meldrum Denholm writes articles for magazines, newspapers, as well as content for companies and websites, covering parenting, health and sports, and psychological issues.  

This blog and its materials have been prepared by Graine Mediation for informational purposes only and are not intended to be, are not, and should not be regarded as, legal advice.  This information is not intended to create, and receipt of it does not constitute, an attorney-client relationship.  Internet subscribers and online readers should not act upon this information without seeking professional counsel.


Child Custody Problems – Should I Use a Divorce Attorney or a Mediator?

October 13, 2015

When families break apart in a divorce, many parents do not know where to turn to get help.  Divorce lawyer?  Divorce mediator?  What is best when it comes to planning for children when their parents are getting a divorce? Here is some information to help you choose what route to take:

Parents must decide whether they want the fate of their children’s upbringing to be made within the family unit (by mom and dad) or by a judge.

A quick read of the following comparative descriptions of the child custody decision-making process, as managed by divorce lawyers (litigation), versus divorce mediators, will help parents decide which method is best:

DIVORCE LITIGATION

Whether or not a child custody case is ultimately bound for court, it is common for divorce attorneys to approach their cases as if they might end up before a judge.  Clients should expect this type of behavior considering a legal advocate is obligated to “zealously assert the client’s position” and, as a negotiator, a divorce attorney is expected to “seek a result advantageous to the client [who is the parent, not the child]” (see the Preamble to the Virginia State Bar Rules of Professional Conduct)

Do you need Zealous Advocacy? Zealous advocacy – often referred to in terms of “winning and losing a battle” — is frequently the best route to take in extreme cases, such as where there are allegations of child abuse and neglect. Many parents find, however, that this approach is far too absolute when applied to the very human business of making decisions with regard to their children’s upbringing.  Also, you need to be careful in traditional litigation since it has a tendency to further polarize parents who are often already struggling with divergent value systems and parenting styles.

The courthouse was not designed for most divorcing family’s child-related problems.  But, it’s good to know that the courts are there if you need them.  The fact that so many custody battles are aggressive in nature is not, necessarily, the fault of the individual attorneys. Instead, this problem is more of a manifestation of an entire judicial system which was better designed – back when divorce was a rarity — for matters of business and property disputes than those of families and children.

Knowing what we know today about the emotional development of children, the court system is outmoded and, often times, inappropriate for the needs of divorcing families and their children.  However, for those dire situations, such as child abuse and neglect, where compromise and co-parenting are out of the question, having a neutral, authoritative judge as the decision-maker can be in everyone’s best interest.

Is Compromise an Option? Many clients find that approaching child-related decision-making with a “win-lose” mentality is expensive, confusing and rarely geared toward supporting a cooperative environment.  If you think you are ready to compromise (even a little) and are interested in your child being raised by both of his or her parents, cooperatively, you may want to steer clear of traditional litigation. Instead, consider using your energy on making plans for how to best raise your child in two separate homes (which is never easy in the best of circumstances).  

Litigation might be your best bet in a child custody situation if:

(1) You absolutely do not see the possibility of compromise in your case; and/or

(2) Your child would be unsafe if left in the unsupervised care of the other parent.

DIVORCE & CHILD CUSTODY MEDIATION

Working with a mediator, in a child custody situation, is all about cooperative planning for your child’s immediate and future needs. This planning is usually done with both parents in the same room and, during certain segments of the mediation, the mediator will talk with the parents separately.

Mediation has four parts:  

(1) Pinpointing Issues;

(2) Sharing Information (the parties share information about their child and their own personal situation, as well as some family history; the mediator shares information about the law, the legal culture in the jurisdiction, and the impact of divorce on children, generally, and in various custody situations);

(3) Facilitated Negotiation; and

(4) Drafting and Signing the Custody Agreement.

When is Mediation a Good Idea in a Child Custody Situation? Mediators are able to help clients settle their child custody disputes if:

    • Both parents love their children and are able to appreciate that what happens in childhood will have a lifelong impact on their child;
    • There is no history of child abuse or neglect;
    • Both parents are committed to the idea that their child’s life should be  better after divorce than it was during the marriage (if at all possible); and
    • The parents are willing to sit down with a neutral third party (the mediator) and work on creative, practical and child-centered plans for their child’s upbringing.

 

 

The immediate goal in divorce mediation is to assist parents in making rational, child-centered, and logistically feasible parenting arrangements for their child after considering the full circumstances of all members of the family.

The ultimate goal is to help couples transition gracefully from traditional parents (if married) to single moms and dads who are able to provide their child with the best dual-home situation possible for their child to grow, learn and play before he or she is old enough to leave the nest.   

Only you can decide what is best for your child when your family is faced with divorce and custody situations.  

Got questions?  Call: Robin Graine, JD at (571) 220-1998.  I’m always happy to answer questions and help you get on the right track toward moving on with your life and creating the best situation for your child post divorce.

Posted by Robin Graine, JD, Virginia Supreme Court Certified Mediator

This blog and its materials have been prepared by Graine Mediation for informational purposes only and are not intended to be, are not, and should not be regarded as, legal advice.  This information is not intended to create, and receipt of it does not constitute, an attorney-client relationship.  Internet subscribers and online readers should not act upon this information without seeking professional counsel.


9 Key Questions To Ask Before Negotiating Child Custody In Your Divorce

October 6, 2015

coparentingParenting is a one-shot deal. As a 10-year veteran of divorce, my former husband and I have made it our goal to keep our children the focus, despite our own differences and troubles. When we negotiated our divorce settlement, we keyed-in on the fact that we only had one chance to get it right in raising our son (who was then 9 years old) and daughter (who was then 7 years old).

The goal, in divorce, should always be to make the situation better – or at least reasonably comfortable — for everyone in the family.

I can tell you from my own personal experience, and 13 years as a Virginia Supreme Court Certified Divorce Mediator, former divorce attorney, and family court hearing officer:  Divorce does not have to be a tragedy for your children.

To successfully negotiate custody in your divorce, you will need to ask yourself and ponder some very important questions.

You will need to ask yourself what is really best for your children for both the immediate time frame and for your child’s future well-being. You need to start thinking in these terms before you begin your custody negotiations so you can think of terms of broad goals, albeit flexible goals, and a variety of options for reaching those goals.  This is true whether you engage the services of a divorce lawyer or a mediator.

9 Key Questions Divorcing Parents Need to Ask Before and During their Child Custody Negotiations:

  1. What unique traits, knowledge, values and skills do I have to offer my children?  What about my children’s other parent?  
  2. What qualities do I believe are necessary to “be a good parent?”  Do I have most of those qualities?  What about my children’s other parent?  
  3. Do I see myself as the better parent for children of certain ages and developmental stages? What about my children’s other parent?
  4. Do my children have special activities that they like to do with me, alone?  Their other parent?  
  5. Will I need help from my children’s other parent, in terms of child caretaking, once living separately? Will my children’s other parent also need help?  (e.g., due to work demands, work travel, “juggling” children’s activities, etc.)
  6. What do I believe are the benefits, specifically, of my children having a rich and stable relationship with both Mom and Dad? What would be the harm, specifically, if they did not?
  7. Am I able to let go of control when my children go to stay with their other parent?
  8. When there is a parent who has only been minimally involved in his or her children’s life, is there reasonable potential for that parent to become more involved?
  9. Is there potential for compromise in parenting decisions?

If two loving parents exist, why not make the most of it? Children get a stronger sense of security, love, expanded world views, skills, knowledge, extended family, role models and sense of self.  And you get children to have and to hold–and to love.

Posted by Robin Graine, JD, Virginia Supreme Court Certified Mediator

This blog and its materials have been prepared by Graine Mediation for informational purposes only and are not intended to be, are not, and should not be regarded as, legal advice.  This information is not intended to create, and receipt of it does not constitute, an attorney-client relationship.  Internet subscribers and online readers should not act upon this information without seeking professional counsel.


Ashley Madison Problems? 5 Reasons to Avoid Going to Court on Adultery Grounds

August 28, 2015

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As 37 million recently hacked people on Ashley Madison can attest, adultery is rampant.  What is going on? From what I have seen and heard in my divorce mediation private practice, parents are so stressed out that they forget to nurture one another.  They put “adult care” at the bottom of their list, like a chore to be done when there is time.  But, while waiting for the “right time,” at least one of the party’s need for attention and physical affection doesn’t go away — no matter how busy they are with kids or careers. In my experience talking with couples over the past several years in my divorce mediation firm, adultery is usually a symptom — not a cause — of the death of their marriage.  It is rare to encounter adultery in a marriage that was healthy and alive before the deed was done.

If you’ve recently discovered a betrayal in your marriage, and have decided that the marriage is over, I recommend taking a long, slow breath before moving forward with a divorce on the grounds of adultery (if that is even possible in your state, as it is in my area, Northern Virginia – Fairfax, Loudon, Prince William counties).

Divorce trials and litigation, which focuses on the ground of adultery, are extremely expensive and do not help clients move forward with their lives.  They grind in past transgressions and ugliness.  They reinforce all of the negatives in a marriage, as opposed to focusing on the positive futures available to each spouse if the settlement is fair, centered on the children, and aimed at providing a platform for both spouses’ future success and happiness.

Here’s why you should consider mediating your divorce settlement, and not sue for divorce using adultery as your ground:

  1. Adultery is often difficult to prove. How far will you take it? Is there another side to the story? This will drive up investigators’ time, court time—and cost–for what gain?
  2. Adultery is very expensive to litigate. Litigation is highly complex—and therefore expensive. Couples can often settle their matters without all of the legal wrangling and red tape.
  3. It’s not private. Do you want your kids—not to mention the entire town, schools, church, gym, and Thelma at the bank—to know your business? Why deliver the gossip and humiliation to the world’s news feed?
  4. It serves no purpose. Destroying each other will leave you not only broke, but ultimately cause more anguish. There is no real meaning and value in the destruction of someone you once loved. Focus on building your own happiness from here on in.
  5. Court is not a place to seek revenge. Judges don’t care who sleeps with whom. They focus on what is best for the children, and how to make income that supported one home now stretch to support two. Mediation can help you pinpoint and focus on key issues for the benefit of the kids.

As for your kids . . . After 13 years in family law, and mediating countless divorcing parents, my thinking is this:

  • Do not talk with your young children about what really happened when your spouse cheats.
  • Focus on your goals: Be independent. Be happy. Be successful.
  • What good is it involving your children in your pain? They’re too young to understand sex and adult relationships. You’ll only succeed in making them feel conflicted in their parental loyalties — right at the very time when they need both of their parents the most.

This blog and its materials have been prepared by Graine Mediation for informational purposes only and are not intended to be, are not, and should not be regarded as, legal advice.  This information is not intended to create, and receipt of it does not constitute, an attorney-client relationship.  Internet subscribers and online readers should not act upon this information without seeking professional counsel.

 


The Effects of Parenting By Role Modeling

July 14, 2015

report-card-parents-happyAll parents want to raise, happy, healthy, successful, and altruistic children.  While there are many ways to impact and influence a child’s future, role modeling is one of the far most important factors.  There is a clear link between the effects of role modeling on children’s futures.  Statistics show:

  • Parents with good self-esteem tend to raise children with more secure self-esteem.
  • Parents who succeed in education tend to have children who meet and even surpass their parents’ accomplishments.
  • Children of divorced families are more likely to divorce (Parenting Exchange)

Children’s behavioral habits are shaped by not only being told what is correct, but also by observing correct behavior.  Whether or not a parent realizes it, his or her child is always watching, listening, overhearing, and observing a parent’s actions.  It is easy for parents to throw out don’ts like “don’t drink”, “don’t smoke”, and “don’t lie”; it is harder for parents to practice what they preach.  For example a parent may tell his or her child that smoking is unhealthy and that he should never smoke.  Sure, the child may understand that smoking is unhealthy, but if the child sees a cigarette hidden in his mom’s purse or smells smoke on his dad, the child will wonder how unhealthy can smoking really be, if his parents do it when he is not around?

Parents can work on modeling through his or her own actions by considering how you:

  • Handle stress and frustration
  • Respond to problems
  • Express anger and other emotions
  • Treat other people
  • Deal with competition, responsibilities, loss, mistakes
  • Celebrate special occasions
  • Take care of yourself (what you eat, how much you exercise, balance your commitments) (The Center for Parenting Education)

Looking back on my childhood my parents always were always positive role models.  Despite being the mother of two children, my mother worked my entire childhood.  This did not stop her from getting us involved in sports, clubs, and providing us with a healthy dinner every night. My dad worked just as hard as my mom. I would often wake up in the morning finding that he had already left for work and he would not return until I was getting ready for bed that evening.  From a young age I realized that my parents worked this hard for my brother and I to provide a promising future for the both of us. This made me value my education similar to the way they valued their careers.

My accomplishments reflect the impact my parents had on me. I graduated from Virginia Tech in 3 and a half years, was moved out and living independently from my parents by the age of 22, and now I am headed to law school this August.  My parents not only pushed me verbally to work this hard, they showed me that working hard pays off, as they are both comfortably retired in their 50’s.   I aim to be just as successful, if not more, as my mom and dad.  When I do reach their level of success, I know I will thank them for always being the two most influential role models in my life.

Citations:

http://www.easternflorida.edu/community-resources/child-development-centers/parent-resource-library/documents/parents-powerful-role-models.pdf

http://centerforparentingeducation.org/library-of-articles/focus-parents/role-model-promise-peril/

Written by Jessica Wilds, Mediation Assistant

This blog and its materials have been prepared by Graine Mediation for informational purposes only and are not intended to be, are not, and should not be regarded as, legal advice.  This information is not intended to create, and receipt of it does not constitute, an attorney-client relationship.  Internet subscribers and online readers should not act upon this information without seeking professional counsel.


Divorce Lawyers Vs. Divorce Mediators: How They Approach Child Custody

May 26, 2015

istock_000018888305small300Parents who divorce are faced with many decisions about how their children will be cared for post-separation.  Divorce attorneys and divorce mediators have different approaches when helping clients formulate custodial care plans.

Divorce attorneys often focus on:

(1) The type of custody a client wants for him or herself (e.g. sole custody, primary custody); and

(2) Winning that custody for the client through strategic legal maneuvering and traditional bargaining tactics.

Divorce mediators tend to focus on:

(1) Formulating mutually agreeable parenting arrangements that are best suited to the child’s needs; and

(2) Assigning “legal labels” (e.g. primary custody, shared custody) to the the parenting arrangements only after the custody decisions are determined.

 

KEY CONSIDERATIONS FOR CHILD CUSTODY DECISION MAKING

Until parties truly understand how their children will process and handle their parents’ divorce, child custody decisions need to be approached with great caution and sensitivity to the child’s basic need for:

(1) affection from both parents;

(2) bonding time with both parents;

(3) enough time to experience both parents’ influence and role modeling;

(4) routine and structure; and

(5) a sense of rootedness (home, school, community).

 

WHY CHOOSE A DIVORCE MEDIATOR?

  •  Child Centered.  Divorce Mediation is child-centered and consists, primarily, of neutral facilitation of parents’ discussions and creative problem solving.  
  • No Games. There are no games or intimidation tactics that are usually employed by divorce lawyers.
  • Confidential. Everything in mediation is confidential.  This allows parents, without the concern of “blowing their legal strategy”, to speak freely and honestly.
  • Everything on the table. Mediation encourages comprehensive conversations about their child and how best to parent him or her in the unsurprisingly complex two-home structure necessitated by divorce.
  • Cooperation. Mediators are skilled at nurturing cooperation between parents.
  • Perspective. In mediation, parents are usually able to see disputed custody issues from various perspectives.  Usually, both parents have good ideas to share.
  • Information & Knowledge. Experienced mediators have practical information and empirical knowledge to help clients make decisions on behalf of their child that both parents are comfortable with.

WHEN IS IT BEST TO CHOOSE A DIVORCE ATTORNEY OVER A DIVORCE MEDIATOR

  • Abuse. Where there is a history of child abuse (physical or sexual) or domestic violence, parties are usually better off having the protection of the Courts and a divorce lawyer right from the start.  
  • Not living in reality.  Parents who are mentally ill or have a personality disorder such that they cannot distinguish reality from fantasy are not good candidates for mediation.  They need a divorce lawyer to advocate on their behalf.
  • Punishment. Parents who are adamant that they want their child’s other parent punished – and believe that the Courts will do that for them (which they almost always do not do) – need to hire a lawyer.  Mediation is not punishment-oriented.
  • Need to win.  Some parties need to win.  Cooperation and mutually agreeable decision-making is not for everyone.  Parties who believe they are dead “right” with regard to what is best for their child in every way, and that the other parent is “wrong” on those matters, need to hire a divorce attorney.  Most mediators don’t think in terms of “winning” when it comes to children.

CHOOSING A MEDIATOR STYLE

There are as many styles of mediation as there are mediators.  If you choose mediation as your method of determining the parenting arrangements for your child post separation/divorce, make sure you are comfortable with the mediator’s approach and style.  Talk with him or her a while before committing to your first mediation session.  Ask questions.  A good mediator will be happy to ensure that both parents are comfortable with the process and that the personalities make a good fit before setting the first session date.

This blog and its materials have been prepared by Graine Mediation for informational purposes only and are not intended to be, are not, and should not be regarded as, legal advice.  This information is not intended to create, and receipt of it does not constitute, an attorney-client relationship.  Internet subscribers and online readers should not act upon this information without seeking professional counsel.


Home Again? Better Known as “Failure to Launch”

May 19, 2015

Graine Mediation is pleased to introduce Terri R. Adams, MSW, LCSW, BCD, as our guest blogger this week. Ms. Adams is in private practice in Fairfax, Virginia with the Fairfax Counseling Group. http://fairfaxcounselinggroup.com Ms. Adams has helped many parents of young adults to successfully achieve a stronger relationship with their young adult children and recapture their own future.

INTRODUCTION by Robin Graine, JD: Many parents come into divorce mediation with a particular “problem” on their hands which does not, necessarily, have a legal solution: “What are we going to do with our adult child, who is living in the family home, once we separate?” This is an issue not easily resolved by Virginia divorce lawyers in the family court system. Nothing in the law supports “child support” for adult children (unless that child is disabled in some way that disallows independence). However, it is clear to the parents who provide a roof over these “20-something’s” heads that they are expensive to maintain. The broad question is then: Should parents be providing full support, both financial and otherwise, for these adult children? It is a big question in the divorce context and in our culture as a whole.

HERE IS WHAT OUR GUEST BLOGGER, TERRI R. ADAMS, MS, LSW, BCD, of FAIRFAX COUNSELING GROUP, HAS TO SAY . . .

failure-to-launch-509f70c708f73Have you seen the movie, “Failure to Launch”? Two desperate parents conspire and create a plan to entice their 35-year-old son to finally move out of the house. Hoping they can encourage him to become an upstanding citizen on his own two feet, they set him up with a lovely young woman, hoping that this will motivate him to become independent.

Does this seem familiar? Just when you had adjusted to being empty nesters, here comes your wayward offspring, home to roost. Maybe, your son or daughter went off to college and pursued partying rather than academics and is now home again. Maybe you experienced the joy of college graduation and with sincere anticipation allowed him or her to return to actively pursue a job hunt. But now, a year later, your young adult child is still with you, languishing, direction-less, unmotivated, enjoying all the comforts of home without contributing much to the domestic landscape. HELP!

So, let’s be real. What can you do? What are reasonable expectations? In the Washington, D.C. metro area, the cost of living is high, adding to a young person’s challenge in getting a job that can support him or her. And, that almost certainly won’t be in the style to which they were accustomed growing up. So, face it, home is better. And, frequently, it’s free. What could be better?

Whether the return to home was due to a slacking economy, a relationship bust up, poor employment prospects or college challenges, rectifying the situation begins at home. First, you need to know the scope of the issue. Can you determine what is going on? Is it avoidant behavior due to low self-esteem? Is it lack of drive? An inability to cope with stress? Drug use or alcohol abuse? Or, just a bad attitude? Once you can state the troublesome behaviors, you have something to work with.

Living at home, your young adult has responsibilities as part of the household. It is important to have clear, reasonable expectations that are communicated and that have natural consequences if they are not achieved. If needed, offer a coach who can be hired to help your young adult accomplish job goals, breaking each one down into manageable tasks (a resume, interview skills, etc). Regular family meetings can help set up the tasks to be achieved and the coach can handle the follow through with your son or daughter.

Young adults in their twenties should be creating a vision for their future, learning new skills, meeting new people, striking out on their own. Many of the young adults who return home do not have the drive or the vision. Instant gratification (think video games or smoking weed) trumps working on long-term goals and they avoid, relying on their parents to provide the basics. If there is a substance abuse issue, get help as soon as possible. Go to Al-Anon or engage a therapist to help you, if you are stuck. If you sense depression in your young adult, turn to the professionals. Based on research, the most successful treatment is psychotherapy combined with medication.

Ultimately, these “boomerang kids” need some extra support at home and beyond to develop their own desire for autonomy. Invite them to experience the world and utilize resources available to help launch them into a successful adulthood.

Terri R. Adams, MSW, LCSW, BCD is in private practice in Fairfax, Virginia. She has helped many parents of young adults to successfully achieve a stronger relationship with their young adult children and recapture their own future. http://fairfaxcounselinggroup.com/Fairfax_Counseling_Group/Welcome.html

 

COMMENTS by Robin Graine, JD:

“FAILURE TO LAUNCH” IN DIVORCE MEDIATION CONTEXT: Usually, in such a situation, the divorce mediator learns that only one, or sometimes neither, of the parents believes that the adult child actually needs parental caretaking. The mediator’s role, then, often moves into facilitating a plan of action for “launching” the adult child into independence. This is even more the case when the family home must be sold to accommodate the divorce. The divorce is often a catalyst for such action, which is not, if done with compassion, necessarily a bad thing for the adult child.

FUNDING THE MOVE TOWARD INDEPENDENCE: Unless the plan is to immediately “kick out” your “failure to thrive” adult child, helping to move him or her toward independence requires money. Decisions will need to be reached on the financial contributions of the parents toward the support of the adult child in terms of both amount of money and the period of time in which it will be paid. Adult children can be very expensive, too, if there are problems that need to be addressed prior to “launch”. This “funding” piece can get very complicated when there are other minor children in the home for whom an actual child support obligation is supposed to be used. Care needs to be taken in these situations to account for the needs of all members of the family.

This blog and its materials have been prepared by Graine Mediation for informational purposes only and are not intended to be, are not, and should not be regarded as, legal advice.  This information is not intended to create, and receipt of it does not constitute, an attorney-client relationship.  Internet subscribers and online readers should not act upon this information without seeking professional counsel.


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