Many people choose, when they get divorced, to reassess their views on life, their personal priorities and their ways of relating to other people. There is no shortgage of self-help books to guide you in that undertaking. But, I have often found that the best way to learn new skills and habits is to first see how great people (e.g. leaders, thinkers, artists, writers, philosophers that you admire) have lived their lives. 
Jacob Abbott, in his classic autobiography of Alexander the Great, made a wonderful list of Alexander’s personality traits that allowed such a young man (Alexander was only 20 when he assumed the throne of Macedononia and a mere 32 years old when he died after having conquered much of the known world at that time) to rise, so quickly, to greatness.
These Keys to Greatness — or personality traits, habits, mannerisms and relationship skills, are:
- Being full of ardour (feelings of great warmth, intensity) and enthusiasm for all you do
- Being calm, collected and considerate in emergencies requiring caution
- Being thoughtful and farseeing regarding consequences of your actions
- Being able to form strong personal attachments
- Being finely formed in physical attributes
- Being prepossessing (to make a positive impression on someone beforehand) in manners
- Being athletic and active
- Being grateful for all kindnesses shown you
- Being considerate of other people’s feelings
- Being faithful to friends
- Being generous toward foes
I guess nice guys don’t always finish last. 🙂
Fairfax VA Divorce Mediator 