“Conscious Uncoupling” is the new buzzword for celebrity divorces. This is due to Gwenyth Paltrow and Chris Martin’s (lead singer for Coldplay) recent announcement of their pending divorce and the parade of recent of appearances and interviews by Ms. Paltrow and her mentor, Dr. Habib Sadeghi.
Conscious Uncoupling really just means getting a divorce without being nasty. It is code for “compassion”. That is what I help people do every day at www.grainemediation.com. In Gwenyth Paltrow’s brand of conscious uncoupling, there is a little twist of spirituality, too. Though that doesn’t exist in the secular mediation room, it is completely up to the clients how they choose to put into action their decision and desire to keep the divorce process as free from ugliness as possible.
Graine Mediation applauds these celebrities for setting a good example. The decision to get a divorce is not necessarily a battle cry for both sides to bring out their big guns. Instead, the desire to be consciously as kind as possible throughout the process, while also doing your best to step into each other’s shoes and “see how it feels” and see where the fears lie, is what is always best for human beings. After all, most of us do not thrive on negativity, emotional assaults, and having our pocketbooks emptied by zealot-lawyers.
Divorce is hard enough. The financial repercussions are almost always calamitous and divorce takes a heavy toll on all parties, including the children. If you want to call an amicable divorce “conscious uncoupling,” fine. If you want to stick with “amicable divorce,” that is fine, too. Just see if you can stay out of court and don’t ever go for headline news in your divorce!
Posted by Robin Graine, JD, Virginia Supreme Court Certified Mediator
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