Divorce Leave You Looking for a job? Read this comparison of Indeed.com and Monster.com

September 11, 2012

Monster.com and indeed.com are popular websites used to find employment, research jobs, and make career related connections.  Monster.com is a more robust site than indeed.com, but that doesn’t mean that it is necessarily better for all job seekers.  Monster.com receives much more traffic than indeed.com and has more job listings.  Both offer jobs that are primarily “office jobs”, such as administrative/clerical, business related fields, and sales/ marketing.   Monster.com however, is used significantly more than indeed by people who have graduate degrees.  Indeed.com appears to be used more by people without a college degree and people with undergraduate only.

Searching for a job on both websites provides different experiences.  Indeed.com gives a much more in-depth description of the job, including duties, qualifications, benefits, all on different tabs, as well as a link to the company website.  Indeed.com also provides step-by-step instructions about how to apply for the job.  Monster.com, on the other hand, provides only brief job descriptions, qualifications, and an excerpt from the company who is offering the job.  Monster.com also has a link to the company website.

Both websites are great tools to find out what types of jobs are being offered — where the needs are. Job seekers may prefer indeed.com because of the organized layout of the website. Indeed.com is useful for those looking for jobs and are not sure what to expect.  The details provided by indeed.com are in-depth.  Indeed.com could be great website to be used by someone re-entering the working world after years of not working.  Those reinterring the working world after a divorce may find indeed.com especially useful with the clarity it provides and the manner in which indeed.com makes it very clear what is expected of the applicant.  On the other hand, if the jobseeker has a higher level of education and has a well-established resume, moster.com may be the appropriate choice.   Also job seekers may prefer monster.com for its straightforward approach by keeping descriptions short and only providing the most important information.

Posted by Jessica Wilds, Graine Mediation Intern

This blog and its materials have been prepared by Graine Mediation for informational purposes only and are not intended to be, are not, and should not be regarded as, legal advice.  This information is not intended to create, and receipt of it does not constitute, an attorney-client relationship.  Internet subscribers and online readers should not act upon this information without seeking professional counsel.

Using Divorce Clients Emotions for Positive Settlements in Mediation

January 25, 2012

Divorces are emotional.  Therefore, taking the emotions out of a family mediation and treating it just like a business transaction rarely works.  The key to a successful divorce settlement mediation is to tap into the emotions that best serve the clients’ realistic goals and their children’s’ best interests. Emotional upset does not usually contribute to positive outcomes (e.g., inability to focus, too quick to settle, too angry to negotiate), but redirection of emotions is often very helpful (e.g. passionate negative response to the break-up of a family –> passionate desire to raise happy, well-adjusted children)

Positive Emotions: Anticipation, Empathy, Joy, Acceptance, Trust

  • Helping clients stay positive, focused on the future and assisting them in seeing opportunities in their situations is very important when people are going through a divorce.
  • Family mediators should encourage empathy, especially where clients are coming to mediation after having had the empathy “knocked out of them” by the court system.
  • Keeping the mood light in mediation, smiling and even freeing up the mood for a little laughter, always helps, but cannot be pushed.
  • In a divorce mediation, there is often one party who is fully ready for the divorce, while the other is still in a bit of shock.  Acceptance may not come for a long time and often requires therapy, but good mediators can help get the “shocked person” started down the path.
  • Intense lack of trust due to adulterous affairs can threaten to blow a mediation.  There is often the question: How can I trust him/her to be forthright with the financial information when I cannot even trust him/her to be faithful?  This is a question that often needs to be sent back to the parties.The “non-trusting” spouse needs to make the ultimate decision him/herself.  There are a lot of people who, though untruthful in body, are truthful in money!

Negative Emotions: Fear, Anger, Despair, Disgust, Frustration, Surprise

  • Negative emotions need to be balanced with positive emotions (“flipped on their head”, e.g. fear of the unknown –> excitement about the opportunity to form new life dreams).
  • Negative emotions often lead to black & white thinking (not generally very creative).
  • The emotion of “surprise” is usually uncomfortable in a divorce mediatin situation.  I have seen clients make offers in mediation that they never came close to making outside of mediation (e.g., willingness to help with transportation of children, spousal support, etc.)  No matter how seemingly good the “surprise” is, the other party is often angry just because she/he has been surprised.   This is always a good time to focus on the goal (e.g., You wanted spousal support, now it looks like you are going to get it.  It doesn’t matter that it was “no, no, no” up until now!”)
  • Obviously it is best if negative emotions can be kept to a minimum.  They are often counterproductive and solicit negative feedback from other party. Balance is key.           

 Neutral Emotions: Sadness

  • Although most people would consider sadness a “negative emotion”, I put it into the “neutral” category because it is almost always present in a divorce mediation in one way or another.  It’s nice if your mediator is empathetic to your sadness, but doesn’t get too drawn in. Mediators with positive outlooks and a cheerful disposition can often be a comfort to clients and joyful people sometimes can help sad people feel a little better, though this is not always the case.

In a Bind? A Few Ways to Get Money from an IRA Penalty-Free

December 12, 2011

Lost your job?  Unexpected HIGH expense?  Unless you have a good nest egg put away for a rainy day, you might be scrambling for funds to cover unexpected expenses, and your IRA might be a place to look for that needed cash.

Are you aware that funds withdrawn from an IRA are taxable, and if you are under 59-1/2, you will pay a federal penalty of 10% and possibly a state penalty too?

Withdrawing funds early from your IRA will affect your standard of living when you retire.  We hope that you never have to do that, but if you do, here are a few ways to beat the early-withdrawal penalty.  (Of course, you still need to deal with the IRS and income taxes – no way to get around that)

·       Annuitize: Under IRC Sec. 72(t) you can avoid penalties by taking a series of substantially equal periodic payments until you are 59-1/2 (but not less than five years). To estimate how much you can withdraw each year, use the 72(t) calculator at Bankrate.com (See:: http://www.bankrate.com/calculators/retirement/72-t-distribution-calculator.aspx

·      Buy a Home:  If you have been renting, had alternative living arrangements, and have not owned a home for at least two years, you can withdraw up to $10,000 to buy a house in your name or in the name of a spouse, child or grandchild.

·      Pay for Education: You can go back to school, or withdraw funds for college tuition and related expenses (books, materials, fees) for your spouse, children or grandchildren.  Be aware that certain income limits apply.

·      Cover Medical Expenses: If your medical expenses (for you, your spouse or dependant) exceeds 75% of your income, you can withdraw from your IRA penalty-free.

·      Pay Medical Insurance Premiums: If you have been unemployed for at least twelve (12) weeks, and receive unemployment compensation, you are eligible to withdraw funds to pay for your medical insurance premiums.

·      Pay Back Taxes to the IRS:  If the IRS has placed a levy against your IRA, you can withdraw funds to pay the back taxes.

·      Disability: If you are “totally and permanently disabled” by IRS definition, you can take distributions from your IRA without penalty.

·      Death: Did you know that when you die, your beneficiaries must begin taking distributions from your IRA, and there will be no penalty to them.

This blog is written based on my observations and experience.  I am and not a CPA, tax planner or tax attorney.  I am a mediator and former family law attorney. All data and information provided on this site is for informational purposes only. wpthemesplugin.com makes no representations as to accuracy, completeness, currentness, suitability, or validity of any information on this site and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries, or damages arising from its display or use. All information is provided on an as-is basis.

Divorce & Taxes Series: Part 1

September 7, 2011

The thought of taxes is stressful enough, let alone when divorce becomes a factor.  To help you sort through this wildly misunderstood area of divorce financial planning, I will be posting several “Tax Snippets” over the next several days.

These Tax Snippets are written based on my observations and experience.  I am and not a CPA, tax planner or tax attorney.  I am a mediator and former family law attorney.  These are, however, some of the key issues that I see over and over again with my clients.  This series of articles is intended to help you “get your feet wet” in this mucky area of divorce.  If you think any of these issues might affect you, see your tax professional for up-to-the-minute and personally tailored tax advice.

Tax Snippet #1 – Filing Status Your filing status is a defining factor in determining your tax bracket.  Tax status is dependent on (1) your marital status, and (2) your parenting arrangements (if you have dependent children).  The choices are, in order of preference for most people (i.e., greatest tax advantages):

  • Married Filing Jointly
  • Head of Household (see “Tax Snippet #4)
  • Single
  • Married Filing Separately

Determining – and often times actively choosing — your tax status is very important.  The percentage of tax that you pay to Uncle Sam on your Adjusted Gross Income1 — 10 to 35% (with some exceptions) — is determined by your tax bracket.

Your tax status is determined on December 31st of that tax year.  Period.  It has nothing to do with April 15 or any other factors.  In other words, if you are divorced on or before December 31, you only have the tax status choices that single people have (single, head of household).  You lose the tax advantages that “married filing jointly” might offer for that tax year.

Don’t panic, though, if you are still married on December 31, but your spouse refuses to file with you or, on the other hand, if you decide that you don’t want to file with him/her for your own reasons.  If you are the main residential caretaker of your child(ren), there may be a less expensive way to present yourself to the IRS than as a “married filing separate” or “single”.  The IRS calls this “Head of Household” status.


1Definition of Adjusted Gross Income (AGI): Your AGI is your gross, or total, income from taxable sources minus certain deductions.  Income includes salary and other employment income, interest and dividends, and long- and short-term capital gains and losses.  Deductions include some unreimbursed business and medical expenses, contributions to a deductible individual retirement account (IRA), and alimony you pay.  Your AGI serves as the basis for calculating the income tax you owe.  (See page one of your federal tax return.) Your AGI is then used to establish your eligibility for certain tax or financial benefits, such as deduction of your IRA contribution or qualifying tax credits (such as the child tax credit and the earned income credit).

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Tax Snippet #2 – Tax Advantages for Parents Lots of divorcing people get confused when it comes to the tax benefits of having children.  That is because, when they were married and raising children under the same roof, the tax benefits allowed were clear.  Upon divorce, however, the rules get very confusing.  Some of the key tax benefits of having children become “negotiable” upon divorce.  It is important for you and your soon-to-be-ex to figure out how your tax reality and your parenting arrangements relate to and affect on another.  Here are the key points to consider:

(1) The Dependent Child Exemption (a deduction):  Every member of a household potentially counts toward a tax-deductible exemption on the family tax return.  In 2011, each exemption will equate to a $3,700 deduction.  So, if you are single and claim the exemptions for 2 kids, you have 3 exemptions totaling $11,100 in deductions.  Whether or not you may claim your child(ren) as a dependent for purposes of utilizing the exemption is a point of negotiation in divorce settlements.  The primary residence of the child(ren) does not necessarily have to determine who can claim the child(ren) on their federal tax returns and custodial parents can give away the right to claim the child(ren) as dependents by completing IRS Form 8332.  (See your CPA for up-to-the-minute details.)

(2) Other IRS Benefits to Parent Claiming Dependent Exemption(s):  The party who claims the child(ren) as a dependent on his/her tax return (whether by default or pursuant to agreement and the completion of IRS Form 8332) is also the only parent eligible for other IRS benefits including, but not limited to:

  • The Child Tax Credit:  $1,000 per child, under the age of 17, with gradually reduced phase-outs that start at the following income levels:   $55,000 for married couples filing separately, $75,000 for single and head of household filers and $110,000 for married couples filing jointly.  In the phase-out range, the child tax credit is reduced by $50 for each $1,000 of income above these threshold amounts.
  • Certain College and Educational Credits: In 2010, there were two tax credits that apply to education: The American Opportunity Credit (which replaced the Hope Credit) and the Lifetime Learning Credit.  The American Opportunity Credit is worth up to $2,500 for each qualifying student, and is available during the first four years of postsecondary education.  The credit is phased out for taxpayers with adjusted gross incomes (taxable income “AGI” ) starting at $60,000 for single filers and $120,000 for joint filers.  The Lifetime Learning Credit is 20% of the first $10,000 you paid for qualifying tuition and related expenses each year.  The maximum credit for 2010 was $2,000.  Unlike the American Opportunity Credit, there is no limit on the number of years that this credit can be claimed; however, it is subject to the same AGI income phase rules as the American Opportunity Credit.

(3) Tax Benefits to the Primary Custodian (only!), regardless of who claims the exemption(s):

  • The Child & Dependent Care Deduction: If you paid someone to care for a child or a dependent so you could work, you may be able to reduce your federal income tax by claiming the Credit for Child and Dependent Care expenses on your tax return.  This Credit is available to people who, in order to work or to look for work, have to pay for child care services for dependents under age 13.  The Credit is also available if you paid for the care of a spouse or a dependent of any age who is physically or mentally incapable of self-care.  This federal tax credit can be worth up to 20-35% percent of the cost of day care (depending on your Adjusted Gross Income).
  • The Exclusion for Dependent Care Benefits: If your employer provides dependent care benefits on a qualified plan, you may be able to exclude those benefits from your taxable income.
  • The Earned Income Credit: This is a refundable tax credit that is given to qualified, modest-income taxpayers who have at least one child living at home.  The credit begins to phase out at $21,420 for married taxpayers filing a joint return with children and completely phases out at $40,463 for one child, $45,295 for two children and $48,279 for three or more children.  For married taxpayers filing a joint return with no children, the credit begins to phase out at $12,470 and completely phases out at $18,440.
  • Right to File as “Head of Household”: Filing taxes as “Head of Household” is also wholly dependent on which parent is considered the “primary custodian”, and IRS Form 8332 has no affect on this privilege.  (See Tax Snippet # 4)

The thought of taxes is stressful enough, let alone when divorce becomes a factor.  To help you sort through this wildly misunderstood area of divorce financial planning, I will be posting several “Tax Snippets” over the next several days.

These Tax Snippets are written based on my observations and experience.  I am and not a CPA, tax planner or tax attorney.  I am a mediator and former family law attorney. These are, however,  some of the key issues that I see over and over again with my clients.  This series of articles is intended to help you “get your feet wet” in this mucky area of divorce.  If you think any of these issues might affect you, see your tax professional for up-to-the-minute and personally-tailored tax advice.

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Interview with Fairfax County Guidance Counselor: Patterns Seen in Children of Divorce

September 2, 2011

Divorce affects the entire family, not just the two separating parents.  Just ask Kathy Wilds, a Fairfax County, Virginia Guidance Counselor for over 25 years.  She has seen, first hand, how divorcing parents’ behaviors affect their children. Ms. Wilds has observed that many children of these parents exhibit similar patterns: “First comes sadness, then anger.  Finally, resignation is reached.”  Divorce doesn’t have to end in despair, however.  Be aware of where your are children are in the process and be patient with them. Encourage them to talk and do everything you can to make them feel safe and loved.

Ms. Wild’s has some advice for divorcing parents: Do your best to never involve the children in ways that “put the wrong idea in their minds; it could make the children feel resentment toward the other parent, or cause feelings of guilt.  This does not help the children move forward.” Don’t make disparaging remarks about the child’s other parent and do what you can to nurture the child’s parent-child relationship with both parents.

Ms. Wilds makes a point to emphasize that “children are resilient.  The younger they are when the divorce happens, the better adjusted they are.”

Ms. Wilds (who I have observed to be a very good mother) also recommends that you “call your child every day just to say hello or goodnight.  It is important that the children feel safe.”  Giving children structure and schedules, as much as possible, helps ensure their feelings of security.  Act civilized around your soon-to-be-ex, but not corporate.  Overly business-like behavior confuses children and does not ease the pain of divorce.   Ms. Wilds also advocates that parents ease their children into counseling groups that deal with “changing families”. This helps the children learn “that they are not the only family going through divorce, and they can see that it is not their fault.”

Key warning signs that your child is not doing well in a divorce situation and needs more help include: “crying in school, anger towards self or others, and not obeying a parent at home.”

If your child is going through a tough family situation, like a divorce, let the school know.  Your child’s counselor may be able to help.

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