It seems that, across the world and overtime, men (more than women) value physical attractiveness in a long-term mate. Women, on the other hand, tend to value good financial prospects. Neither of these preferences are wrong, but nor are they right. They simply “are” and, to prove it, good money has been spent on university studies to make sure what we already know is supported by expensive data.
Aside from these most basic desires, there are actually heartwarming similarities that both men and women rate as important characteristics in a mate.
Both men and women place a high value on “pleasing disposition” and “emotional stability”. These are characteristics that make for good mates, nurturing and attentive parents, and fine upstanding members of the community. These characteristics outlive most people’s good looks and usually stick around even if the money runs out.
So, like your mother told you: “Be nice, think before you speak, and use your manners.” As for emotional stability, that is usually the result of good genes, good parenting, and, often times, a good therapist!
Listen to your mother, too, when it comes to choosing your bride or groom or, at least find some smart person whom you can trust to help you in this most important decision (especially if you have children involved or this is your second or third marriage!). You need someone who is not blinded by the starry-eyed-fairy-dust of new love to help you balance what is really important to you in a mate.