All parents want to raise, happy, healthy, successful, and altruistic children. While there are many ways to impact and influence a child’s future, role modeling is one of the far most important factors. There is a clear link between the effects of role modeling on children’s futures. Statistics show:
- Parents with good self-esteem tend to raise children with more secure self-esteem.
- Parents who succeed in education tend to have children who meet and even surpass their parents’ accomplishments.
- Children of divorced families are more likely to divorce (Parenting Exchange)
Children’s behavioral habits are shaped by not only being told what is correct, but also by observing correct behavior. Whether or not a parent realizes it, his or her child is always watching, listening, overhearing, and observing a parent’s actions. It is easy for parents to throw out don’ts like “don’t drink”, “don’t smoke”, and “don’t lie”; it is harder for parents to practice what they preach. For example a parent may tell his or her child that smoking is unhealthy and that he should never smoke. Sure, the child may understand that smoking is unhealthy, but if the child sees a cigarette hidden in his mom’s purse or smells smoke on his dad, the child will wonder how unhealthy can smoking really be, if his parents do it when he is not around?
Parents can work on modeling through his or her own actions by considering how you:
- Handle stress and frustration
- Respond to problems
- Express anger and other emotions
- Treat other people
- Deal with competition, responsibilities, loss, mistakes
- Celebrate special occasions
- Take care of yourself (what you eat, how much you exercise, balance your commitments) (The Center for Parenting Education)
Looking back on my childhood my parents always were always positive role models. Despite being the mother of two children, my mother worked my entire childhood. This did not stop her from getting us involved in sports, clubs, and providing us with a healthy dinner every night. My dad worked just as hard as my mom. I would often wake up in the morning finding that he had already left for work and he would not return until I was getting ready for bed that evening. From a young age I realized that my parents worked this hard for my brother and I to provide a promising future for the both of us. This made me value my education similar to the way they valued their careers.
My accomplishments reflect the impact my parents had on me. I graduated from Virginia Tech in 3 and a half years, was moved out and living independently from my parents by the age of 22, and now I am headed to law school this August. My parents not only pushed me verbally to work this hard, they showed me that working hard pays off, as they are both comfortably retired in their 50’s. I aim to be just as successful, if not more, as my mom and dad. When I do reach their level of success, I know I will thank them for always being the two most influential role models in my life.
Citations:
http://centerforparentingeducation.org/library-of-articles/focus-parents/role-model-promise-peril/
Written by Jessica Wilds, Mediation Assistant
This blog and its materials have been prepared by Graine Mediation for informational purposes only and are not intended to be, are not, and should not be regarded as, legal advice. This information is not intended to create, and receipt of it does not constitute, an attorney-client relationship. Internet subscribers and online readers should not act upon this information without seeking professional counsel.
Posted by Graine Mediation 
Fairfax VA Divorce Mediator 